what does it mean?

In the past five hours I've heard two thought provoking stories.

1)This was a comment from a friend who lost a loved one due to a tragedy. "Don't take life for granted. Enjoy each moment as if it was your last."

2)This was a comment from a friend who is soon to undergo brain surgery due to tumors " I'm so grateful I have positive people in my life."

I've asked myself all day if I'm a positive person. I'd like to think I am but I have to work really hard at it. It's not something that comes easy for me. I can find fault in my life and complain about it which at times is a stress reliever. In order for me to be positive I have to choose my words carefully. When positive words are spoken the energy around me is lighter. It also helps when the people around me are positive. There's nothing more draining than negativity. I've had my share of it and tend to detach from the situation. I've come too far to allow another person to break my spirit.

I try not to take life for granted. I'm guilty of not living each moment to it's fullest. I haven't trained myself to do it. Again, it's not something that comes easy. Yesterday was an emotional and exhausting day due to situations that were brought on me by others. I spent my every minute filled with anger, frustration and strategies to solve the problem. I'm not doing so good with the living each moment to it's fullest thingie.

I am a work in progress. I don't know if I will ever be complete but I'm gonna give it a try. I'm still not sure what I'm searching for but for now I will settle for my self worth accomplishments.

Being positive is challenging...check
positive words soothe the soul...check
I learn from my mistakes...check
I am grateful for today...check


Love, CiCi

it's all mine

My husband is at lake Erie fishing with his buddies and I have the house all to myself tonight. I actually prepared myself for my big night by cleaning and doing laundry this afternoon. By the time he left everything was done and I was alone with nothing to do. I couldn't be more calm and relaxed right now. The TV isn't blasting and the kitchen is closed. I hear only silence right now. My pajamas were on my 7 pm and I've been playing on my computer ever since. I pinned and read blogs and deleted stupid spam. Once upon a time I would have been looking for somewhere to go but the thought of being alone sounded more exciting. I thought of having a glass of wine but I don't like to drink alone so I settled for a cup of coffee instead. 

Don't get me wrong. I love getting all dolled up and going places. I love adventure and live music and being with the people I love. Tonight was one of those rare moments that I took advantage of. I treated myself to me. 

I enjoy my own company...check

I'm finally comfortable alone...check

I love silence...check

I never got bored tonight...check

Love, CiCi