I often wonder why bad things happen to good people. Are we only allotted a small segment in our lives that are complete joy? Should we hold on to those precious moments because they won't last long? These are questions I've asked myself this past year. While reflecting on my circumstances I've come to the conclusion that my life has been unfair in the most highest form. My heart has been tattooed in pain, anger and sorrow. It's nothing that I did or didn't do, it's the life that I was given.
The tears that have been shed were draining. The thoughts that entered my sleepless nights were real. My heart has been etched with confusion. My tattoo is getting larger.
My young, beautiful, charming, sweet, smart and loving son has cancer. There...I said it. Fucking cancer? Why? How? It's not fair. It's life changing in a way that no words can describe. It's just another etch on my heart of fear. My tattoo is getting even larger and it hurts.
I never understood the saying " no one fights alone". Now I know. Our family and friends haven't left our side. We are in this together. We fight for Ronnie, we cry for Ronnie, we pray for Ronnie, we hope for Ronnie because we love Ronnie. Because of the strong bond we have my tattoo is starting to be etched with courage.
Ronnie has shown such grace and bravery. He gives me strength. Witnessing his chemo treatments and watching his side effects etches my tattoo with pride watching him fight the battle. My tattoo is starting to have meaning.
As we go through cancer, treatments, surgeries, doctors and hospitals my tattoo has become a part of me now. It's etched on my heart with determination, hope, power,composure, endurance, optimism and faith.
We will never quit the fight...check
My tattoo will always be a part of who I have become...check
There will come a day when there is a cure for cancer...check
This is our life and my heart is in it forever...check
Love, CiCi
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